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I'm cross posting this from another tribe. Enjoy.
flyer was found at the University of Nevada, Reno (UNR) on September 30th of 2004. Needless to say, I got a BIG kick out of this.
1.) Homosexuality is not natural. (Eyeglasses, polyester, and
birth-control are not natural.)
2.) Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce
children. (Infertile and elderly couples cannot get legally
married because the world NEEDS more children.)
3.) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children. (Because
sraight parents only raise straight children.)
4.) Straight marriages will be less meaningful. (Since Britney
Spears' 5-hour, just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.)
5.) Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and
it has never changed. (Because women are still property,
African-Americans cannot marry Caucasians, and divorce is
still illegal.)
6.) Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the
courts. (Because the majority-elected legislatures, not
courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.)
7.) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. (In a theocracy
like ours, the official state religions are always imposed on
the entire country.)
8.) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay. (The same
way hanging around tall people makes you tall.)
9.) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of
crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets.
(Because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage
license.)
10.) Children will never succeed without male/female roles.
(That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.)
11.) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. (We
could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't
adapted to cars, long lifespans, etc......)
12.) Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage
with a different name are better. (Because a "seperate-by-
equal" institution is ALWAYS constitutional. Seperate school
for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate
marriages will for Gays & Lesbians.)
flyer was found at the University of Nevada, Reno (UNR) on September 30th of 2004. Needless to say, I got a BIG kick out of this.
1.) Homosexuality is not natural. (Eyeglasses, polyester, and
birth-control are not natural.)
2.) Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce
children. (Infertile and elderly couples cannot get legally
married because the world NEEDS more children.)
3.) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children. (Because
sraight parents only raise straight children.)
4.) Straight marriages will be less meaningful. (Since Britney
Spears' 5-hour, just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.)
5.) Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and
it has never changed. (Because women are still property,
African-Americans cannot marry Caucasians, and divorce is
still illegal.)
6.) Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the
courts. (Because the majority-elected legislatures, not
courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.)
7.) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. (In a theocracy
like ours, the official state religions are always imposed on
the entire country.)
8.) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay. (The same
way hanging around tall people makes you tall.)
9.) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of
crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets.
(Because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage
license.)
10.) Children will never succeed without male/female roles.
(That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.)
11.) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. (We
could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't
adapted to cars, long lifespans, etc......)
12.) Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage
with a different name are better. (Because a "seperate-by-
equal" institution is ALWAYS constitutional. Seperate school
for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate
marriages will for Gays & Lesbians.)
posted by:
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Portland
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