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I recently sent the following letter to the editor of my local newspaper. I thought you all might appreciate it.
Terror at home
Dear Editor:
What’s so scary about gay marriage? My spouse and I will have been together for 16 years in November. We have had two kids who we parented while things calmed down in their own homes. While this is the case, we are not allowed to enjoy the same basic rights offered to straight couples. The Declaration of Independence states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Evidently, some are more equal than others.
In an article in the August 18th Mansfield Gazette, Rick Santorum throws his support behind the Federal Marriage Amendment. In the article, he says, “…protecting traditional marriage, our most basic social institution for protecting our children and future generations.” I support Mr. Santorum’s right to believe as he wishes. What I take issue with is his use of scare tactics to gain the support of his constituents. Didn’t Anita Bryant claim something similar back in the 1970’s which was proven to be nothing but hot air? What is it that he wishes to protect our children from specifically? Since he does not clarify this in the article, I like all other readers of the article, have to make assumptions as to what he means.
There is no credible research showing that gay and lesbian parents are any less loving or supportive than their straight counterparts. In fact, in a news article on 20/20, Barbara Walters found that the children interviewed for a program on gay and lesbian parents seemed to be just as well adjusted as any kids. Some studies indicate that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are actually more tolerant of other people’s differences.
I have heard the concern that gay and lesbian parents raise gay and lesbian children. That just isn’t the case. I was raised by heterosexual parents, as was my brother. He is straight and I am gay. Straight parents raised the vast majority of gay and lesbian people. So, clearly, gay parents do not cause gay kids anymore than straight parents cause straight kids.
Another thing I have heard is that homosexuals want to recruit kids to be homosexual. How absurd. Why would any adult gay man or lesbian want anyone to have to go through the crap we went through? Being rejected by our families, kicked out of our churches, beaten up at school, harassed, called names, etc. isn’t something I would wish on any child. What every gay and lesbian person I know wishes for all children regardless of sexual orientation is to be accepted, loved and protected. An interesting footnote is that the leading cause of death for children 1-24 is motor vehicle accidents according to the National Safety Council; however, reports indicate that the leading cause of death for gay and lesbian teens is suicide. Education Week, a newsmagazine for teachers, reports that gay and lesbian youth are 5 times more likely to commit suicide than heterosexual youth. We attempt it more often, at least in part, because we are constantly told how horrible we are.
So what does Senator Santorum think we need to protect our children from? Well, I can think of one other thing.
I was raised in a very conservative Southern Baptist family in North Carolina. I was taught, through family, friends of the family, teachers, pastors, etc., that homosexuals were child molesters. But, the facts don’t support this view.
According to the Kinsey report, 10% of the population is gay. (Actually the report says 10% of white males are gay, but let’s not quibble.) According to Advocates for Youth, a group based in Washington, DC, 96% or more of accused abusers are recognizably heterosexual. (Their figures came from an article in “Pediatrics”.) According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, a child is ONE HUNDRED times more likely to be molested by the heterosexual partner of a relative than by someone who is gay, lesbian or bisexual. In fact, sexual abuse by lesbians is so rare, that it almost never shows up in statistics. That’s not to say that these things don’t happen, but that they are extremely rare. One could use these statistics to show how safe gays and lesbians are with children.
According to Focus on the Family, one in three to one in four girls are sexually abused before the age of 18. According to Voices in Action, an international organization providing support for victims of child sexual abuse, one in five boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. 95% of all perpetrators are known by the victims; and, 85% are relatives. The American Medical Association reiterates this by stating most child sexual abuse is incest; less common is sexual abuse by an acquaintance or stranger. They also indicate that most children who are victims feel confused, uncomfortable and unwilling to talk about the abuse. Nearly all child advocacy groups agree that many children never report the abuse. Think about that for a minute. This is a terrifying epidemic! Why aren’t our elected officials speaking about stopping these atrocities? Why aren’t we fighting “The War Against the Sexual Abuse of Our Children”? Probably because no one wants to talk about it. Doing the research for this letter was making me sick, so I can understand. However, that does not excuse our society from dealing with this crisis.
So, again, if Senator Santorum’s true concern is protecting our children and families, how does supporting a ban on gay marriage do anything constructive?
Wake up America, this isn’t a drill!
Shane Hicks-Lee
Blossburg
Terror at home
Dear Editor:
What’s so scary about gay marriage? My spouse and I will have been together for 16 years in November. We have had two kids who we parented while things calmed down in their own homes. While this is the case, we are not allowed to enjoy the same basic rights offered to straight couples. The Declaration of Independence states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Evidently, some are more equal than others.
In an article in the August 18th Mansfield Gazette, Rick Santorum throws his support behind the Federal Marriage Amendment. In the article, he says, “…protecting traditional marriage, our most basic social institution for protecting our children and future generations.” I support Mr. Santorum’s right to believe as he wishes. What I take issue with is his use of scare tactics to gain the support of his constituents. Didn’t Anita Bryant claim something similar back in the 1970’s which was proven to be nothing but hot air? What is it that he wishes to protect our children from specifically? Since he does not clarify this in the article, I like all other readers of the article, have to make assumptions as to what he means.
There is no credible research showing that gay and lesbian parents are any less loving or supportive than their straight counterparts. In fact, in a news article on 20/20, Barbara Walters found that the children interviewed for a program on gay and lesbian parents seemed to be just as well adjusted as any kids. Some studies indicate that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are actually more tolerant of other people’s differences.
I have heard the concern that gay and lesbian parents raise gay and lesbian children. That just isn’t the case. I was raised by heterosexual parents, as was my brother. He is straight and I am gay. Straight parents raised the vast majority of gay and lesbian people. So, clearly, gay parents do not cause gay kids anymore than straight parents cause straight kids.
Another thing I have heard is that homosexuals want to recruit kids to be homosexual. How absurd. Why would any adult gay man or lesbian want anyone to have to go through the crap we went through? Being rejected by our families, kicked out of our churches, beaten up at school, harassed, called names, etc. isn’t something I would wish on any child. What every gay and lesbian person I know wishes for all children regardless of sexual orientation is to be accepted, loved and protected. An interesting footnote is that the leading cause of death for children 1-24 is motor vehicle accidents according to the National Safety Council; however, reports indicate that the leading cause of death for gay and lesbian teens is suicide. Education Week, a newsmagazine for teachers, reports that gay and lesbian youth are 5 times more likely to commit suicide than heterosexual youth. We attempt it more often, at least in part, because we are constantly told how horrible we are.
So what does Senator Santorum think we need to protect our children from? Well, I can think of one other thing.
I was raised in a very conservative Southern Baptist family in North Carolina. I was taught, through family, friends of the family, teachers, pastors, etc., that homosexuals were child molesters. But, the facts don’t support this view.
According to the Kinsey report, 10% of the population is gay. (Actually the report says 10% of white males are gay, but let’s not quibble.) According to Advocates for Youth, a group based in Washington, DC, 96% or more of accused abusers are recognizably heterosexual. (Their figures came from an article in “Pediatrics”.) According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, a child is ONE HUNDRED times more likely to be molested by the heterosexual partner of a relative than by someone who is gay, lesbian or bisexual. In fact, sexual abuse by lesbians is so rare, that it almost never shows up in statistics. That’s not to say that these things don’t happen, but that they are extremely rare. One could use these statistics to show how safe gays and lesbians are with children.
According to Focus on the Family, one in three to one in four girls are sexually abused before the age of 18. According to Voices in Action, an international organization providing support for victims of child sexual abuse, one in five boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. 95% of all perpetrators are known by the victims; and, 85% are relatives. The American Medical Association reiterates this by stating most child sexual abuse is incest; less common is sexual abuse by an acquaintance or stranger. They also indicate that most children who are victims feel confused, uncomfortable and unwilling to talk about the abuse. Nearly all child advocacy groups agree that many children never report the abuse. Think about that for a minute. This is a terrifying epidemic! Why aren’t our elected officials speaking about stopping these atrocities? Why aren’t we fighting “The War Against the Sexual Abuse of Our Children”? Probably because no one wants to talk about it. Doing the research for this letter was making me sick, so I can understand. However, that does not excuse our society from dealing with this crisis.
So, again, if Senator Santorum’s true concern is protecting our children and families, how does supporting a ban on gay marriage do anything constructive?
Wake up America, this isn’t a drill!
Shane Hicks-Lee
Blossburg
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